So you wanted to End it... Babe I understand. Some of the things you tell me about how you're feeling are Really Badd. I'm sorry you think no one understands you. Me included. I will kill to know, though. I'd die to help you. Cause you're too good to be emotionally wasted like that.
I will always, Always love You.
You know, I guess I realised that suicide is Never worth it. I've tried like 4 times already, and it hasn't worked, and I'm Sure there's a reason for that. Maybe I should just accept that maybe I'm Not meant to go yet, so I should stop tampering with time and just let life take its course.

RIP MATTHEW DANIEL CLARK
(March 4, 1987 - August 11, 2005)
You're always still here with me, breathing and alive.

2 years ago today, my skies turned grey and a huge part of me Died.
Growing up, you were the only thing I could count on other than constant Tragedy. You helped me out when I had a problem and you went all over the place Just to find me something healthy to eat when I had dance competitions and stuff. For 6 years you worked for me and Mark, just so he wouldn't get so mad so often. && You made your friends take me in when you felt it was the least safe at home.
Then, it happened. I remember it was so scary. For months after - til Now, even - I keep thinking I'll have the same untimely end as you, and Dad, and God knows How many other people I've knwon who died. Do you know that, to this very day, I have a horrible phobia of lorries? I have not gone near one since. Not to mention bridges. I can't bear to be in a car driving over bridges now.
Are you proud of me, Matty? I went through with the adoption, like you told me to for so long. I studied. I tried to be strong, and Yes I did Fail, but I promise it won't happen again. I found happiness. I found a family. I found all the things you would've died - and in a way, that you did die - for me to Have and to Keep.
Here's to you : my Only True Family.

The day I forget what you did for me, I'm certain I will die.